It takes a village

I am safe and (mostly) well in Rio and in two days I've already played in a roda de choro and paraded in a bloco down the street in the rain. There have been some tough moments already, but I am here!

They say it takes a village and I have been thinking about the people that assembled to help get me here and help me survive here so far. My former boss Christi has been encouraging me to make this trip for so long, and my current boss Ahren has made it possible for me to take the time off. Plus Adam is holding down the fort while I'm gone. My friend John let me buy some of his credit card miles for cheap and my family has been so supportive along the way. Kristin and Sylvie were my packing advice gurus.

I was picked up at the airport by Leonardo and his dad. I only knew Leo online after my friend Paul introduced me to his new pen pal. Leo and dad took me for feijoada and Leo added me to his phone's family plan so I could have a phone. He is so sweet and I'm lucky to have him here.

I'm staying the first few nights in an apartment in Copacabana in the vacant room of Paul Fischer who is out traveling. He and I may have met once when we were kids but we don't remember. His American father met my German dad at university in Germany and our parents were good friends after that when they lived in the states. I went to school with their other son David at UCSD and now Paul is studying in Rio and I'm staying with his Norwegian roommates.

I have Brazil Camp to thank enormously as well. Most of the people I've been in contact with here I met through camp. Jacare has been a great guide already and I'm fortunate that he's been willing to share some of his Rio with me. Tonight I'll meet up with Carl and Owen and probably Sergio at the Bangalafumenga rehearsal. I contacted Dudu who said I could parade with them and it's thanks to Kathleen, Jacare, and camp that I know him. Hell, it's because of camp that I play choro in the first place and have had great musical experiences here so far. More stories later.

So, just feeling tired, overwhelmed, a little stressed, but extremely extremely grateful.

Tchau for now.

Brazil!

My staff threw me a sweet going away party

It's just after midnight and I'm pretty much packed and my suitcase isn't completely full.  The way I normally pack, this almost feels like something's wrong.  But I'm hoping it means that I'm just ready to go.  Flying to Rio tomorrow on what will be an 18 hour trip including three flights.  Feeling under the weather which I'm not excited about.  But it's Carnaval in summertime in Rio!  I can't be anything but excited!  I was fortunate to go to Rio and Salvador a little over a year ago and fell in love with Brazil.  I met great people, I heard great music and had great opportunities to play, and everyone was just as late as I was all the time but somehow we were all on time.  I loved it.  I've decided that later this year I'm going to spend an extended stay somewhere in Brazil for three to six months, more if I can find a way.  So this three week trip is an exploratory one to think about future plans, look for potential future jobs, and think about my life's path.  Oh, and also I'll be on vacation in Rio during Carnaval!

I don't have too many set plans yet but I'm hoping they will come together after I arrive.  My goals are to hear tons of music, dance my heart out, and play as much drums and clarinet as I can.  If I take anything away from this trip, I just want it to be inspiration, inspiration, inspiration.

I'll be picked up on Saturday by my new friend and pen-pal Leonardo who I have yet to meet in person.  He'll take me to the apartment in Copacabana where I'll spend five days in the apartment of a family friend I knew when I was a kid and his Norwegian roommates.  After that it's to an apartment in the neighborhood of Gloria, and after that I'm still looking for places to stay.  So here I go!  I am so grateful to my boss and colleagues at work for making taking this three week leave possible and easy and to my family and friends for being so supportive.  Stay tuned for what I'm sure will be many adventures to come.

From the going away card from my staff :)

Improvisation

"There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening,that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and will be lost."  -Martha Graham

I am realizing how important it is for me to be able to express myself and to communicate clearly. I studied linguistics and I’m good at learning languages.  I’ve communicated in Portuguese over a static-filled cell phone with someone with a speech impediment and not only could I understand, I won the argument we were having.  I studied music and have the versatility to play in a range of styles and settings.  I’m good at explaining drum rhythms to all kinds of learning styles in the samba group. During my creative journey, I’ve explored expressing myself through journaling, dance, collage, painting, and of course, music. But while music is my main art, there is something holding me back from expressing myself fully with it.  It’s like the frustration I experience when I want to express extreme gratitude to my host in a foreign language and all I know how to say is a basic “thank you.”  The holdup I’m experiencing is with improvisation and my lack of experience.  I want nothing more than to be up on stage and just belt out a clarinet solo that is full of grace, soul, and most importantly, Stef.  But I feel that I lack the skills I need in order to pull that off.

I’ve come a long way since the days of shaking my head so they’d skip me when it was time to solo in high school.  Now I’m the front woman of my own group and I just fake it til I make it.  Most of a solo is confidence anyway, right?  That plus all the playing I've been doing, my work with The Artist's Way, and tips I’ve picked up from friends and teachers along the way (focus more on solid rhythms than the actual notes, don’t start on the root, play out!) have helped my solos develop to a place where they are maybe halfway decent.  But I long for so much more than that.  In order to head toward that goal, I know I need to play more and listen more, but I also need to work on building a better foundation of jazz theory.

            I signed up for Jazz Improvisation at City College and have had a couple classes so far.  It has been simultaneously frightening,inspiring, fun, frustrating, and the best thing I could do for myself right now.  The professor Yochanan Winston (Doc)is tough but encouraging and has emphasized how everyone deserves and is capable of playing jazz.  In the first class he said when someone performs jazz for the first time, the spirits of the elders like Miles and Coltrane are up there on stage with their arms around him saying “Hey, that’s a great tune, it’s a tough one but you’re gonna do great.”  I love that. Doc said to play jazz we need to set our alarms to jazz in the morning,listen on the way to work, learn to play the tunes memorized and in several keys, transcribe other players’ solos by ear, know all the chords front and backwards, play all the time.

            None of Doc’s suggestions are anything new that I haven’t heard before.  So why am I so motivated to finally put these things into practice when I wasn’t before?  I could have added Jazz 88 to my radio presets and practiced scales ages ago. I first thought that my problem was laziness or even worse, that improvising wasn’t important enough to me to work on it.  But I realized that my music background has always been in an academic environment and I’m used to having some kind of teacher provide structure.  If that’s a good way for me to learn, why not accept that and go with it.  I know now that my motivation to get better at this stuff is there, I just needed a little push.  Stay tuned for more stories as the semester progresses!

Ode to the Music House

A year and a half ago I left my peaceful one-bedroom cottage and moved into a house full of musicians. It has been a never-dull adventure and I have lots of stories to share. But first, an ode to the people who have lived in the house and inspired me:


To Rebecca - incredible flute player, singer, composer, and painter whom I thank for the musical direction of my life. Rebecca is the one who encouraged me to move into this crazy house in the first place and is one of the first career musicians I’ve known. I watched her dive headfirst toward her dreams and make things happen for herself. I realized that I wouldn’t be a musician by waiting for someone to knock on my door and give me a gig. When I moved into the house, I loved hearing flute melodies waft out of Rebecca’s room in the morning and improvised vocal lines while she washed dishes. My favorite house moment with Rebecca is when we returned to the jam at my housewarming party wearing only vests like all the guys!

To Ryan - crazy fiddling surfer bro, whom I thank for many sleepless nights. Ryan took the definition of music house to its full potential. If he wasn’t out surfing he was in the house playing all the time. Not only did I learn what a cymbalom is, I had the pleasure of hearing it being tuned for hours a day and hearing it played outside my window at 4am many nights. Ryan introduced me to Balkan music and the value of learning by ear. Even though the tunes he taught me were slightly different each time he taught them, I still know them by heart. After one of my choro gigs, Ryan said “Dude Stef, you are shredding out there and I never even hear you practice!” And I realized he was right: I don’t practice enough. The reason Ryan is so good is that he plays all the time. My favorite house moment with Ryan is accompanying him on cajon in the kitchen as he showed me a new song he had just written that he couldn’t wait to share.

To Dusty – genius nylon string guitarist, surfer, photographer, most laid back person in existence, I thank for showing me how to relax. Dusty does exactly what he loves and helped me learn that there’s really no reason to do anything else. Sure he takes the occasional soul-stealing-high-paying gig, but he spends the rest of his time being creative or being in the water and that’s why he’s happy. Having known Basilio and lived in the music house on and off throughout his life, Dusty set the tone for the open, creative, communal vibe of the house. He also taught me that the most important element of an improvised solo on my clarinet is rhythm. He said not to worry as much about the notes; pretend I’m just playing a solo on my drum. My favorite house moment with Dusty is our duo in the kitchen with him on cajon and me tap dancing.

To Esteban - drummer of samba, drum corps, pipe band, taiko, etc etc, whom I thank for his sense of inquiry, especially when it comes to music. Esteban was an unofficial short-term roommate whose legacy is still visible in the dry erase marker rhythm notation he left on the sliding glass door. Any time he had an urge to learn a conga rhythm or how to play tabla, I would come home to him teaching himself from youtube videos and making notes on the windows. My favorite house moment with Esteban is returning together from Brazil Camp while Basilio’s flamenco fiesta was still going on in the house, and crashing the jam with a big samba entrance on the drums.

To Julien – phenomenal drummer, guitarist, singer, songwriter whom I thank for my newfound skill to sleep with a live drum set soundtrack. When Rebecca moved out and Julien moved in, the drums became a permanent fixture of the living room furniture. I love playing with Julien; his drumming is so solid, versatile, and nuanced. I feel like I’m both conversing with and supported by this strong, dynamic force behind me. He also writes these beautifully complex songs on guitar, and I love when I’m hanging in the house and I can hear him practicing outside. My favorite house moment with Julien is when he, Claudia, Dusty, and I practiced impromptu body music polyrhythms in the kitchen.

To Duke - guitarist, bassist, samba drummer, funky dancer, and unofficial short-term roommate whom I thank for throwing me at other musicians. Duke prefers composing much more than performing, but he especially likes playing musical matchmaker with musicians he thinks should play together. My favorite moment with Duke is when he stayed in on a Friday night to practice scales and modes with me. He made up an exercise for us to practice in Dorian and ended up composing a full scale swing tune out of it.

To Natasha – singer/songwriter, painter, gourmet chef whom I thank for inspiring me to always express myself fully and fiercely. Natasha moved here from the Cayman Islands just because she liked our friend Chad’s work and decided to have him produce her new album. After Ryan moved out, Natasha moved in and became my creativity cheerleader and partner in crime. Natasha sings to full capacity with her whole heart, even if she’s just working out song ideas in the living room. I admire her for that – no holding back, no apologies, just pure expression of her true self. Natasha acted as both photographer and inspiring art director for my website photo shoot. My favorite house moment with Natasha is when we practiced improvising in the living room. Instead of focusing on the chords we used metaphors and doodles for inspiration.

Now with Natasha and Dusty now moving out, I’m now the longest standing resident of the house since I moved in. Julien and I hope to keep the magic of the music house going, and we think the two new additions will fit in just fine. Zach is a bass player who plays ragtime at a speakeasy bar downtown with his identical twin brother. Catherine is a drummer who lived in Brazil for a year and is currently working on recording her own angry girl poems accompanied by her vibraphone. I can just see it now – drums, bass, vibes, and tap! The music house lives on.

Where Everything Is Music

Welcome to my blog where I plan to share stories of my journey into music, art, and creative exploration. The title is a quote I love from the poetry of Rumi. Thanks for reading!

Where Everything Is Music

-Rumi

Don't worry about saving these songs!

And if one of our instruments breaks,

it doesn't matter.

We have fallen into the place

where everything is music.

The strumming and the flute notes

rise into the atmosphere,

and even if the whole world's harp

should burn up, there will still be

hidden instruments playing.

So the candle flickers and goes out.

We have a piece of flint, and a spark.

This singing art is sea foam.

The graceful movements come from a pearl

somewhere on the ocean floor.

Poems reach up like spindrift and the edge

of driftwood along the beach, wanting!

They derive

from a slow and powerful root

that we can't see.

Stop the words now.

Open the window in the centre of your chest,

and let the spirits fly in and out.